Why Society Hates Women, Why It Hurts Everyone, and What to Do About It
For centuries, society has systematically oppressed women, devaluing both the feminine and those who embody it. While some celebrate the strides made in recent decades, we must not mistake progress for equity. Women may now comprise 59.5% of college students and hold more seats in Congress than ever before, but societal shifts often wear new masks, leaving the deeper issues unexamined.
In Psychology of Women and Gender, Miriam Liss, Kate Richmond, and Mindy J. Erchull caution against accepting surface-level improvements:
"This 'half-changed world' might cause us to unquestionably accept some of the gains without examining whom these gains benefit and whether they actually provide equity."
The Reality Beneath the Surface
The numbers tell a sobering story:
Women are the fastest-growing incarcerated population in the U.S., with rates increasing by 700% over the past 40 years. Most of these women are low-income women of color, and 86% have experienced sexual violence.
In 2021, over 50 trans and nonbinary individuals—mostly Black and Latiné trans women—were murdered in the U.S.
Eating disorders have risen consistently over the last two decades.
Facebook knew but withheld information about Instagram's harmful effects on teen girls’ mental health.
The U.S. remains the only industrialized nation without paid parental leave.
Such realities reveal how patriarchal systems persist, harming not just women but society as a whole.
The Feminine Devalued
Oppression extends beyond women to include qualities society associates with femininity: vulnerability, emotionality, collaboration, and nurturance. These traits have historically been labeled as weak or irrational, further marginalizing those who embody them.
Even mental illness has been weaponized against women. Historically, femininity was linked with "madness," with women labeled as hysterical, insane, or even demonic for deviating from societal norms—or for conforming too closely to them. According to Psychology of Women and Gender, women deemed "mad" were often involuntarily institutionalized for expressing independence, rejecting traditional roles, or challenging authority.
Sigmund Freud, one of the most influential figures in psychology, initially linked women’s hysteria to experiences of sexual trauma. However, under societal pressure, he abandoned this theory, shifting blame to women's unconscious fantasies and so-called "penis envy." This pivot contributed to decades of dismissing women’s lived experiences of abuse.
The Masculine Overvalued
In tandem with devaluing the feminine, patriarchal systems exalt traits like power, control, independence, and aggression—qualities that may have been advantageous in historical battles but are ill-suited for modern, cooperative societies. This harms men as well:
"Popular sayings like 'boys don’t cry' teach boys to suppress their emotions. Men often experience shame when expressing vulnerability and are reluctant to seek therapeutic support," Liss, Richmond, and Erchull write.
This toxic masculinity perpetuates cycles of dominance, isolation, and violence, stifling emotional connection and communal well-being.
Matriarchal Societies as a Model
Not all societies have operated under patriarchy. Matriarchal systems—still present in some Indigenous cultures—offer a different paradigm. These societies are:
Mother-centered: Women play central roles in decision-making, and inheritance often follows matrilineal lines.
Egalitarian: Power and responsibilities are shared among genders.
Community-focused: Values like consensus-building, peace, and gift-giving guide interactions.
Rather than wielding power over others, these cultures emphasize balance and collective well-being.
What Can We Do?
As modern women living within patriarchal structures, reclaiming our power starts with individual and collective action:
Reconnect with Our Bodies
Practices like menstrual cycle coaching and somatic therapy help us honor the wisdom of our bodies, grounding us in our natural rhythms.Amplify Marginalized Voices
If you hold privilege, use it to shift attention toward those less heard. Advocacy isn’t about centering ourselves but creating space for collective liberation.Embrace Communal Care
Nurture yourself and others. Feminine values like compassion and collaboration are essential for healing and transformation.Challenge Oppressive Systems
Recognize that personal struggles—whether related to body image, mental health, or caregiving—are not isolated. They stem from larger societal issues that require systemic change.
Closing Thoughts
As women, reclaiming our voices, bodies, and stories is a revolutionary act. And as a society, embracing the wisdom of the feminine—equality, nurturance, and interdependence—holds the potential to transform us all.
Let us not settle for a “half-changed world.” Let us create a whole new one.
Citations
Liss, M., Richmond, K., & Erchull, M. J. Psychology of Women and Gender